Resources and Information
How long will therapy last?
I believe that deep level therapy takes time. Time to build trust in our relationship and to ease into the difficult exploration of your trauma(s). Most folks that I work with benefit from ongoing relational therapy, but that can look differently from person to person. Some folks like and prefer weekly, more if possible, some like 2-3 times a month, and some work in bursts, diving in deeply and then taking space to process and re-orient themselves.
Couple or relationship therapy tends to be shorter over time and more demanding more quickly than individual work. Relationship therapy can be different from individual work, so it will be important to discuss what that might be like in session.
What is somatic-based psychotherapy?
Body-oriented psychotherapy can be particularly helpful in processing a variety of traumas and can be a way to regulate and restore the body which can influence other processes. Some somatic-based therapies that we might use are:
Mindfulness helps us stay present and accept ourselves as is in our current state. It recognizes that things are always changing.
Breathwork can be similar to mindfulness but is concentrated on intentional breathing. It draws from many other spiritual and community traditions, like Tai Chi, yoga, Buddhism, Christianity, and Catholicism. We may begin sessions by taking a few breaths together to create a clearing space to begin our work. Breathing is something that we may return to in session, that you can practice on your own, with your pets, with other humans, in nature, in your car, and in nearly every environment. Lots of research shows that breathing supports anxiety, depression, panic, chronic pain, and other types of suffering.
Focusing was developed by Eugene Gendlin and uses a process called “getting a felt sense”. This is like knowing something (implicit knowing, or gut-level knowing) and using nonlinear means of sensing into what you know to then give it new insight or language (explicit knowing, using coherent language). Focusing supports movement from being stuck or stagnate, which can often happen from trauma and life transitions. It also helps us to learn how our feelings occur in our bodies. Focusing can be a playful way to approach heavier and harder things. It can also help open up creativity and get you re-centered on your personal projects.
We may use these approaches in addition to talk therapy. I really like body-oriented therapies since they support compassion and presence, but if you don’t know or aren’t sure, we’ll talk about it or skip it.
Over any technique or method, I rely on you and our relationship to inform what we do in sessions.
What is trauma-informed therapy?
Essentially this means that there have been deep wounds that have impacted a person’s well-being in critical ways that they have responded in protective ways, this can be related to things like not knowing how you feel, avoiding triggering things, basing how you feel and your worth on others, or having a hard time accepting praise and positivity from others. These are just a few of many things that help us understand how you might be impacted by trauma. Likely, you have devised some clever systems to keep yourself safe and well. Maybe now, those things aren’t working so well for you, keeping you back from living, or giving your the sense that things could be better for you. it might even be hard to trust that instinct, that things could be better, that you are deserving of better. So this style of therapy means that the therapist recognizes the impact of these traumas on your whole person and whole body.
Why don’t you take insurance?
First, your records become less private since insurance companies can request to see your records whenever they’d like.
Second, it means that I have to diagnose you, which means that your care and treatment have to be determined and justified by that diagnosis. For example, even though I work with lots of people who are processing trauma, those people don’t necessarily have PTSD, but trauma treatment is necessary. Also, because your records can be requested at any time, that diagnosis may hinder your ability to apply for jobs, health insurance, life insurance, legal issues, etc.
Finally, working with insurance means that the insurance companies determine how long you need therapy and what kind you can receive. By not working with insurance, I better maintain your privacy and help preserve your agency over your healing process.
How about out of network reimbursement?
Yes, we can do that!
Do note that you will be responsible for liaising with your insurance, understanding the portion of reimbursement that your insurance pays, and submitting documents. You’re also still responsible for paying at the time of service.
I will give you a monthly invoice to submit to your insurance.
This also means we will need to keep a diagnosis on file for you to submit your claims to insurance.
What do you mean by LGBTQIA+ affirming and competent?
LGBTQIA+ is an umbrella term for the queer community (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, intersex, asexual, and any other queer and questioning identity). I’m a queer person and use she-they pronouns, and am very aware of my privilege as someone who is cis-body presenting.
Affirming means that I genuinely and unconditionally support you in your fullness and encourage you to develop into your full self. I don’t judge you or pretend to be an expert of your experience and I question toxic patriarchal and cis-heteronormative beliefs that impact each of us. I also value our differences wherever and whenever those may become apparent.
Competent means that I have experienced as well as spent time becoming familiar with and learning about the historical trauma and experience of what it means to be LGBTQIA+ in the US. I am committed to continue to learn and will likely misstep along the way. Additionally, it means that I will support you and advocate for you in affirming your identity and will write you letters of support and endorsement for gender-affirming surgeries, hormone therapy, and other affirming services. I also recognize that this inherently creates power differentials within our relationship.
What do you mean by gender-expansive?
Gender-expansive recognizes that for many people gender can be beyond binary categories. It’s a broad adjective that can describe someone with a more flexible gender identity than might be associated with a typical gender binary. Check out NPR’s guide to gender related terms.
We’re not static and neither is language. Terms sometimes change more quickly than website updates!
Saying no as an act of compassion
Being able to say no enables the ability to wholly say yes.
I think saying no is one of the most beautiful ways to be with others and maintaining our boundaries. Many of us have been trained to say yes, to go along with things, and to ignore our needs or instincts. This can be part of being polite, cultivating normative gender-related expectations, not disappointing others, and often be part of a trauma response.
Resentment, anger, and guilt can bubble up from all the times you’ve said yes when you would really rather have said no.
I offer the compassionate no as a way to re-frame a way to also say yes. The compassionate no supports you to:
Ask yourself what you most need.
Hold yourself accountable to what you need.
Invite others to help you maintain boundaries.
All so that you can show up with more availability for when you authentically say yes. Learning to say no or not now is an act of compassion for yourself and for others.